Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Self Portrait: August

One of my best friends sent me this article earlier this month. We hadn't chatted (via the phone or gchat video) in nearly two months because our lives were just "crazy busy." Go read this article. Please, I insist. I'll wait.


Welcome back. Pretty awesome, right? I rarely read. Anything. But, I read this article start to finish (go ahead, give me a gold star, Adrienne). I found so many truths in this article. I was in that latchkey generation (as a morning attendee) and spent an equal amount time after school, outside in the woods finding the edge of the earth, or wetting my pants on the softball field. That is not something I modeled my idea of adulthood after (especially the latter), seeing that I perused a career in 'journalism graphics.' However, it definitely set the stage for the creative, inspiring, can't-sit-still type of job, I would eventually want.

After reading that article, I started paying close attention to my reaction to "How are you?", and others reaction as well. Busy literally the only thing people said. I was bound and determined not to give this answer, but found myself just dancing around the fact that I was crazy busy. Yes, it actually is all taken on voluntarily, my ambition or drive to learn or my addiction to 'busyness,' as Kreider states. And he's right, for what am I so very busy for? So people look at my blog? Repin my latest furniture how-to? Retweets, Facebook likes or networking opportunities? What does any of that actually matter?

So this month I tried to remain unbusy. Not take on any [more] obligations. Tell people 'no thanks,' with no further explanation. React with "I'm doing great", and leave it at that. It was not well received. I tried to relax on the couch a couple nights with Mike, and my legs twitched as if they need to be released of the "idle demon" living within them. So I took a step away and looked at the big picture.

Yes, I'm busy. And yes, it's all self-inflicted. But I love it. I'm becoming a part of this amazing city I call home. I'm trying my best to make a difference with serving as different roles in community organizations. I'm meeting fresh faces who are vibrant, supporting and loving people, by designing wedding invitations, flyers, logos, making handmade crafts, taking pictures and drinking! So what is the point to all of this, you ask? I've realized my role is to be who I am. I know I'm a little quirky and I have my faults,. I'm loyal and hope that others are to me. I love my family and friends incessantly, and can't get enough of them. I absolutely do not know how to relax. And, I just hope to make a tiny little difference, somehow.

I walked out of work today, got in my car and set my bags down. I turned down the music and took a deep breath. It's the minutes of serenity this that make it all okay. The one time Mike and I had a picnic at the beach and I refused to go running because I wanted to sit and watch the Ocean. And like this entire afternoon at The Hermitage (below) that balance out my life. Life is too short not to be busy.

P.S. If you made it through all of this reading, you deserve TWO gold stars. See me after class :)